Filmmaker Nina Gofur on Confronting Vulnerability Collectively in Her Short Film, “Nectar”
Interview by Nina Gofur and Julia Kupiec
Artist Nina Gofur began her short film, “Nectar” two years ago as a form of therapy. In between then and now, the commotion of everyday life put the film on hold until the pandemic hit, giving Nina the opportunity to resurrect it. She comments, “this film came together serendipitously, through random conversations I was having with Paul, Muriel and Maria. At the time, every aspect of my life pointed me to making this piece— each person in front and behind the camera had been in my life for a long time, many of whom I had met freshman year of college, and I felt as though I wanted to put it into a time capsule, this collective experience of disarming. This intimacy that I shared with the cast and crew paved the way for a deep exploration of vulnerability and insecurity. The film is about shining a light on the things we are afraid to challenge and, in turn, treating them as a place to grow from.”
Watch the premiere of “Nectar” below along with a conversation between Nina and her Director of Photography, Julia, as they look back to the inception of the short film and how even two years later, the ideas and emotions still live on.
Nina Gofur: How do I tell it’s recording? Oh, there’s a red light.
Julia Kupiec: Ah, the red light always means good things.
Nina: Yes, it means we’re beginning the journey! Where should we start?
Julia: Oh I guess maybe with when we made it…It was senior year?
Nina: Yes, it was around December 8th, 2018, whoa…
Julia: Right, yes! So what was your baby idea or that little itch that you get that tells you that what you’re thinking about could maybe be a story?
Nina: Hmm yeah, wow, I feel like I’m digging deep into the past! It was such a specific time in my life, it was senior year of college, I felt like i was going through a lot of changes. Part of the reason was wanting to explore these ideas about vulnerability and insecurity I was talking about with my friends. But if i’m going way back to how the seed was planted— I made a painting.
Julia: Oh! I remember this painting! Is it the one that says, “Are you feeling kinky?”
Nina: Yup. So I read those words in a message and they imprinted on my brain. I started wondering about who they’re usually directed at and who says them. Eventually, they started to lose a certain meaning. You know when you think about a word for too long and it starts to sound weird? That’s what happened with this sentence.
Julia: Why do you think these words affected you so much?
Nina: Well, when I first read them, they weren’t directed at me but part of me wished they were. I started to sit with this feeling I had and asking what exactly is implied in that question and what the person asking it wants to see. So in my painting I wrote the question out a lot, each time stripping a word from the sentence or re-arranging it until I was left with, “What are you feeling?” The final touch was adding these little pieces of broken glass that I had, so whoever is looking at it and saying the phrase, can see themselves fragmented through these little pieces of glass.
Julia: Whoa.
Stills courtesy of Nina Gofur
Nina: Haha, yeah so that spurred my idea of wanting to do a little character study of a woman receiving this text, and the transformation of self that she undergoes.
Julia: When I think back to that time, which was very volatile for us, I feel like the process of making it was almost therapeutic for you? It was something that you needed to do… especially connecting with other people when talking about these subjects, and giving other people space to confront their own insecurities and talk about them in an open and positive environment where they could be vulnerable with one another.
Nina: Yes, totally. I guess I just wanted to highlight insecurities and honor them, honor these darker spaces that exist within. Often times we are so afraid of what makes us uncomfortable but I feel that when we bring them to light, we can understand ourselves and those around us a little better. Also, everyone involved was a part of it because of a conversation I had with them at some point and it had left a very strong impression on me. I reached out to these people asking if they wanted to talk more, explore and if they were willing to come together with people they had never met and do that. I was also heavily inspired by this class I was taking at the time, Paul actually introduced me to it, 5 Rhythms, in which you enter a space and move with strangers for two hours, it’s a form of dance therapy. You end up having these wild connections with people not having said a word to them, just moving next to them. Oh and Pina Bausch! Always an inspiration.
Julia: Right, there is something primal about it.
Nina: Julia, what was your vision for shooting it when I came to you?
Julia: Off the bat I knew I wanted the camera movements to be super fluid. We both knew we were going to be confronted with a lot of technical limitations… our budget was super low and we shot in your apartment for most of it. The project was almost entirely handheld but I did not have any type of rig for that, haha.
Nina: No, shoutout out to you for carrying that camera and being a trooper! Especially during those long shots. I’ll forever appreciate you.
Julia: In terms of my approach to it, it was super obvious from the concept that the camera needed to feel as intimate as possible while also capturing in the three portraits something super stylized. It almost looked like you were peeking into the story book version of these people’s lives. It was about how can the camera be in a relationship with the people as opposed to having the camera sit in a corner of a room on sticks, voyeuristically.
Nina: I’m just thinking back to that day we shot in my room, I was so delirious from lack of sleep because our crew was so small, I was essentially the producer, AD and line producer, too.
Julia: Yeah this was very, very small, pretty much just us and the actors.
Nina: And Matt!
Julia: Yes, Matt! Our lighting wizard!
Nina: Yes but regardless, I think the size of the crew contributed to how intimate the set was. I felt like I could fully submerge and talk to the actors because I had complete trust with you. I didn’t even look at the frame sometimes, which is very unlike me.
Julia: Oh yeah! That was actually a very liberating experience. It felt like we were both taking care of our things and there was no time wasted.
Nina: None! Considering that one of the scenes was entirely lit by the sun.
Julia: Haha, yeah we had one Litemat, that was the only light on set.
Nina: Yes! everything else was natural light, we were just shaping it. And then for Muriel’s scene, following the sun around my room. So yea, I felt you and I were in this symbiotic relationship where I trusted you so much. Another thing is that I wasn’t making this project for anyone, or for any class. Really just for myself.
Julia: I think the thing that was so fundamental about this project was that many things came together organically on set.
Nina: I’ve never cried on set before but there was that one moment where we got this incredible shot, we were all crying in this beautiful, sun-filled room and I thought to myself this is exactly where I need to be and these are exactly the people that need to be with me. I held on to that feeling so strongly because knowing that this can exist on a set was so inspiring.
Julia: For me it was the dance sequence. We shot it as the sun was going down and I was so tired but as soon as we pressed record and everyone started moving together, it was such magic. I was so glad that I could be there watching this because they weren’t acting… they were having this experience with one another and I just so happened to be there, trying not to bump them with the camera.
Nina: And you did an incredible job, weaving in and out of them, haha.
Julia: I want to say one more thing, about post-production. What was really beautiful for me was that you recorded their reflections a year later. One of the things I’lI value in this is the ability to see how we evolve over time. I personally think about my insecurities a lot and as I grow and change, my perception about who I was and how I dealt with those insecurities really impacts who I become as I get older. And so you can hear it in their voices, it’s almost as though they feel more comfortable in their skin. They were able to so beautifully express something so personal about themselves and listening to that type of empowerment, I thought the timing and distance from it was the best choice you could’ve made.
Nina: Aw, yeah. We also recorded the voiceovers over the phone in quarantine. Right after we shot this film I kind of put it on a shelf and never had sufficient time to sit with it until the world shut down. As crazy as the world has been, as it has been evolving in this reckoning of all sorts, I am also thankful that I’ve had the time to finish this film.
Julia: There’s always a silver lining, no matter how small.
Nina: Exactly, and I guess this one’s mine.