Premiere: Waltzer Talks with the Creature Who Inspired “Destroyer”
by Sophie Sputnik
Photos by Kayla Lynn
I don’t like to take myself too seriously. I could get into some serious trouble being too serious. A lot of seriously sad things have happened in my life that are funny, and I’d like to keep it that way. Maybe you can relate? It grounds us to laugh at our strangeness. Makes baggage less baggage-y, more carry on-y, and we got places to be, ya know?
That’s what I said to my friend at the end of this interview. My friend is a friend I always thought lived inside my head, so imagine my surprise when I came home to find it sitting on my couch. Turns out this creature had some questions for me. I’m not sure why it decided to physically manifest, but I learned to never turn someone away. I sat down next to it and poured us two glasses of sparkling pamplemousse.
Waltzer is the dark rock and soul project of Chicago musician Sophie Sputnik. Today she is releasing her second single “Destroyer”. Inspired by the creatures that live inside all of our brains, Waltzer sits down with her creature to talk emotions and the growth they’re made together.
Creature: How are you?
Waltzer: I’m fine.
Creature: Ya this is pretty awkward, us meeting in person.
Waltzer: Ya I know… I didn’t even know you were a person.
Creature: I’m not a person. I was born on the strike of eternal midnight. Never once did the sun rise, for there is no sun. I AM THE DARKNESS OF DARK THAT.......
Waltzer: Are you the little devil that lives on my shoulder? Whispers to me all the bad stuff I should do and stuff?
Creature: I’m all the devils on all the shoulders!!!!! And frankly, I’m tired. I've been with you for so long. I remember when you were just a little chunky baby. And now look at you, so tall and silly and old. You were just “goo goo ga ga” when we first met with your grey boring eyes. I fell in love with you like you were my own.
I showed up at night like shadows and danced in between your dreams. You always knew I was around. I don’t know if you remember.
Waltzer: I remember always being pretty scared when I was a little kid. I remember at night I would see skeletons crawling from behind my bed. I needed the door open a crack and a night-light on. I remember making the bed move with my mind. My bedroom walls could change form and swim around if I squinted my eyes enough. It told me the world was not as it seemed.
Creature: We were always pretty nervous. You were five and afraid of people and your reflection.
Waltzer: How did you feel when I went through my *NSYNC phase?
Creature: Impatient. Even more impatient when you discovered Ben Folds Five, but luckily it didn’t take you long to find Led Zeppelin.
Waltzer: THE ZEPP! *air guitar*
Creature: *air drums* And now you’re kind of listening to country a lot? I didn’t see that coming.
Waltzer: Well Loretta Lynn and Wanda Jackson paved the road for listeners like me. They’re my country moms.
Creature: So what keeps you up at night these days?
Waltzer: I’ve been wrong so many times, it’s hard to know when I’m right. Most of the time I don’t want to be right. But I’m also afraid to be wrong. I guess I'm just afraid. *laughs* I get so worried about which decision is right that I wait until only a Hail Mary pass is available. I’m afraid of politics and war, and I’m afraid I’m a phony and an asshole.
Creature: How did you make this record and play all these shows with me breathing down your neck?
Waltzer: I used YOU. We all use you. Thank you for letting us use you. Sometimes it feels like you’re in control, and things get hectic, people get hurt. But lately I have felt like that we’re in it together. You never really want to destroy anything, you just want to keep me safe. Maybe you protect, not destroy, necessarily. If there's nothing around, then nothing can hurt me. Even with your yellow eyes. Your red eyes. You just want to be safe.
Creature: I’m your destroyer, or whatever, is that what the song is about?
Waltzer: I’ve felt like a monster at times, and I see people around me suffering from their actions and decisions, the same way I am. Like, we can’t escape this toxic loop, as if It's coded into our DNA. I just want to bring that to light. I want people to know I’m a destroyer, too. I’m also in love. All the time. With all the good and bad in life. I want to embrace you and others who have you. Maybe form a cult, or a band, or a Facebook group?? A book club??
Creature: I stopped listening like halfway through that.
Waltzer: I totally understand. *laughter*
Creature: You need a chill pill bozo. You need to laaaay back.
Waltzer: I don’t like taking myself too seriously.
Creature: Bitch, you're about thirty years too late on that one.
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